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Time and Timeliness
Nov. 25th, 2008 10:33 amI have been thinking about lately about time and timeliness. One of my super hero names is Time Binding Woman, and I am on time and aware of time. I joke that I was born a week early and have been early every since. Also that it was to save my Mum from having to be in hospital on her birthday since that was the due date. So I am considerate and timely.
I know that my sense of time is not universal. In Panama, where I spent much of my childhood, time was very fluid. And it was considered rude to come sooner than an hour after the stated time for a party. And certainly working with Indigenous folks one hears of "Indian Time" and "Pagan Standard Time" which means late.
In my early years as a priestess I once denied initiation to a student because she couldn't make circles on time. And I stand by that decision. I am sure she found someone more sympatica to work with and got initiated if she wanted it. But I wasn't going to tie her to my karma.
I think the thought that most defines my take on time comes from my father. He opined that lateness is hostility and disrespects the time of another. Your lateness that keeps me waiting instead of doing things I want to be doing is stealing my time. And yes, it makes me feel angry and disrespected.
My rituals will start on time. I will be there at the hour appointed (and usually a little early because I plan for contingencies and traffic). If you want me there an hour later... tell me an hour later. I get anxious if I am late and I don't like feeling that way.
One workaround for that anxiety is to give me a range - gather starting at hour and certain start time at hour+1 or something. The gather/start thing is one of the few things that keeps me in the Pagan community... as long as that start part isn't too outrageously late. I know that there is hanging out time and that sets my expectations. I still get tweaked sometimes because the start time drifts too far. But I cope better than if I have shown up ready to roll and been short-circuited.
And I realize writing this that if I have no role, I can be easier about ritual. "Not my problem" eases the anxiety. It is something that keeps me from stepping up to too much responsibility in some communities. I know that if I felt more resonsible I'd go nuts at the untimeliness. Being just an attendee I can set my own expectations for late... although I'm still often earlier than many. *sigh*
So, I'm timely and I don't think this is something that is going to change. It is part of who I am. And like other continuua of human nature and behavior, if we are at different ends of the continuum we probably can't interact very well. I value my time and yours... and I look for friends, co-ritualists and colleagues who feel the same way.
I know that my sense of time is not universal. In Panama, where I spent much of my childhood, time was very fluid. And it was considered rude to come sooner than an hour after the stated time for a party. And certainly working with Indigenous folks one hears of "Indian Time" and "Pagan Standard Time" which means late.
In my early years as a priestess I once denied initiation to a student because she couldn't make circles on time. And I stand by that decision. I am sure she found someone more sympatica to work with and got initiated if she wanted it. But I wasn't going to tie her to my karma.
I think the thought that most defines my take on time comes from my father. He opined that lateness is hostility and disrespects the time of another. Your lateness that keeps me waiting instead of doing things I want to be doing is stealing my time. And yes, it makes me feel angry and disrespected.
My rituals will start on time. I will be there at the hour appointed (and usually a little early because I plan for contingencies and traffic). If you want me there an hour later... tell me an hour later. I get anxious if I am late and I don't like feeling that way.
One workaround for that anxiety is to give me a range - gather starting at hour and certain start time at hour+1 or something. The gather/start thing is one of the few things that keeps me in the Pagan community... as long as that start part isn't too outrageously late. I know that there is hanging out time and that sets my expectations. I still get tweaked sometimes because the start time drifts too far. But I cope better than if I have shown up ready to roll and been short-circuited.
And I realize writing this that if I have no role, I can be easier about ritual. "Not my problem" eases the anxiety. It is something that keeps me from stepping up to too much responsibility in some communities. I know that if I felt more resonsible I'd go nuts at the untimeliness. Being just an attendee I can set my own expectations for late... although I'm still often earlier than many. *sigh*
So, I'm timely and I don't think this is something that is going to change. It is part of who I am. And like other continuua of human nature and behavior, if we are at different ends of the continuum we probably can't interact very well. I value my time and yours... and I look for friends, co-ritualists and colleagues who feel the same way.
