I also miss wearing rings

Rowanwegg4.jpg
Originally uploaded by rowanf.

I am having kinda of a "dark night of the soul" lately, mostly around the confirmation of my arthritis in my hands. I always imagined that as I got into old age that I would be back in a wheelchair. I mean, I could move funny tomorrow and be back in the wheelchair. But I always envisioned myself as doing hand work - beading, painting, needlepoint, pysanky, whatever. Even with limited mobility I saw myself as creating things. I just have no vision of myself with hands that hurt all the time and don't function very well.

I have found palliatives that help. And I know that the medical world is working on tissue engineering, trying to find ways to grow cartilage to replace damaged cartilage. It may be that there is a future ahead for me that is brighter than I can currently see.

But currently I am mourning and, frankly, freaking out a bit about my future.