My Monologue for In the Pink

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Originally uploaded by rowanf.

I meant to post this right after the show. This monologue was performed in the show by Ada Radius (foreground). I performed as Ninetails, the blonde next to her. This snapshot is from one of the ensemble pieces.

This is the final monologue used in the show. I think the tightening and focus are good, but my outside campus agitation was about a lot of things. I worked with the Prisoner's Solidarity Committee dealing with conditions of laundry workers in the women's prison in Virginia. I attended the West Coast Lesbian Conference at UCLA. I helped organize demonstrators at a nuke plant in the midwest somewhere. I just wanted to say that... life isn't a tight narrative.

The Personal Is Political
by Rosmairta Kilara

Hard to remember now how hard it was in the early 70's to get accurate information about a woman's body. And hard to remember the arrogance of gynecologists who purported to treat women's health. Everything about a woman was considered a pathology, even natural things like menstruation and childbirth. Contraception and abortion were mostly taboo subjects.

In the spring and summer of 1973 I was an outside campus agitator. I went from place to place helping organize ERA rallies, handing out literature on abortion and helping with many events. I met activists all over the country.

In one segment of my travels, I met the women of the Boston Women's Health Collective who created _Our Bodies, Our Selves_ and were just getting it published with a major publisher. That was where I first saw my uterus. We became a lotus of women, feet all facing together, knees raised and open, arms holding a flashlight and a mirror as we all raised our heads to study the mystery between our legs. Each vulva is different - lightly furred or heavily, fat lips or thin, long or short, each as unique as a snowflake. And not only visually but the mingling of our warm musky scents filled the air. And then we peered inside, seeing the dimpled Os at the center of our cervixes. What a sense of power it gave us. We could control our health and reproductive decisions with this knowledge.

In the fall of 1973 I finally settled in Tallahassee. There I joined the Feminist Women's Health Collective and started helping women discover their bodies and their sexuality. Support groups of trained female lay workers made women much more comfortable than sterile doctor visits with cold metal speculums and scant and confusing information.

Key to our success was the availability of the inexpensive plastic "disposable" speculum. Each woman could have her own and the plastic was see-through which allowed one to see one's pink insides all pressed up against the clear plastic. We handed them out to any woman who would take them. We handed them out like an insurance company might hand out pens.

Each of my days would start with a basal thermometer in my vagina, getting the day's weather report. I charted my cycles and I knew what my cervix looked like throughout. I would see the first trace of blood appear as my temperature indicated my period was due. I could see when yeastie beasties might be about to overtake my internal flora and fauna and treat them with yoghurt and herbs.

We flirted with menstrual extraction, pumping out our blood instead of letting it flow freely. And not inconsequentially making the choice that even if there was an implanted egg, the uterine lining would be sucked out. It was a matter of being in control. I did not stay with this practice long myself. My temperature charts and my little drawings in my journal of my cervix were enough to give me a sense of power.

And that power we found over our lives and our sexuality has changed the world. The slogans are true - the personal is political, and knowledge is power.

Grumbling about being sick and missing things

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Originally uploaded by rowanf.

Over a week since my last entry again. *sigh* I can only plead the incredible brainlessness of illness. Yes, I still have The Awful Cold. I am finally going to go see my doctor tomorrow.

So what have I done this week? Come into work some of the time but mostly left early or came in late just not being able to get out of bed on time. Spent time inworld at things like genealogy staff meetings and doing a talk on Elizabethan Seasonal Festivals of Spring.

I did not go to choir practice on Thursday since I (a) felt awful and (b) had a sore throat. I had hoped that by taking is easy I would be well enough for the Exu necklacing ceremony at the House on Saturday. I got up on Saturday and Russell and I had breakfast with sbisson and marypcb at Mini Gourmet. I drove over, saying "I'm driving to Oakland this afternoon, I have to see if I can do it." But I let Russell drive me home since eating breakfast had used all the energy that 10-1/2 hours of sleep had stored up. *sigh*

I did not make it to the ceremony needless to say. I did make an altar to Pomba, Ogun and Oxossi, the three powers I was supposed to horse for the event and asked them to be there to bless the necklace takers. And I poured a big slug of rum of Exu. Then I went back to sleep. From all accounts the ritual went fine in my absence, but I really wanted to be there!

I'm going to stop here just 'cause I want a different picture for Sunday. *grin*

Pysanky and other catch-ups

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Originally uploaded by rowanf.

So then Sunday I couldn't believe I was doing it but I dragged myself out of bed and went to Whole Foods and bought eggs for doing pysanky with the coven in the afternoon. (I had made up the dyes on Friday and otherwise prepared.) I went inworld to my usual Renaissance Island staff meeting inworld and then got tied up in a managers meeting but still managed to have everything set out and ready to go when the coven started arriving. Russell and Linnea and I had all done pysanky before but it was Chris's first introduction. I *love* teaching this art to new folks. He had great ideas and did wonderfully. We all made cool eggs.

I had a good time and I did a couple of fun eggs. But I broke the one I really liked (see pix) trying to blow it. And the other one is way intricate and was supposed to be of grapes but I left out some crucial lines since I just wasn't reading the chart correctly and it doesn't hang together properly.

We decided, chatting over eggs, to take a hiatus until fall since all of our lives are too crazy right now to give the coven the focus it deserves. That is a relief. I really need to be focusing on my headwash to Pomba in June and this frees me up a bit to do that. And it means the coven didn't just fall apart. Yay.

It is funny how once you know about something it keeps turning up. Chris called me yesterday and said a lady had come into the grocery where he works and asked about duck eggs. She is getting them to do pysanky and since Draeger's was going to do the search anyway did I want some? He thought it was cool that he had done his first pysanky and then run into someone else doing the same thing. And duck eggs! How cool is that! I hope we get some. I'll try to do the grapes egg over now that I (hopefully) understand what the chart was saying.

Monday night I didn't dance since every time I moved I coughed. We have a gig a week for Friday so this is a very frustrating thing. I am listening to Kashlimar on repeat to try and get it into my bones since I am supposed to solo to it. I want to be well real soon now.

Tuesday the Blessed Tina came over and did massages. My body is so out of alignment from spending the last month as a slug-a-bed. She says she can do regular third Tuesdays so we are back to having regularly monthly massages. Yay!!!