rowanf: (Bad fairy)
[personal profile] rowanf
December has been a pretty good month. Lots of getting together with friends and eating amazing food. In a reasonable world I would be feeling all happy and full of holiday cheer. And, truthfully, there have been days when I've caught the spirit and been quite happy. Today though I'm feeling quite grumpy. Friends are off holiday making or being ill and I'm feeling rather alone. Not so much because I'm not with anyone but because the communication about who is doing what when has been spotty. And something I thought I was collaborating with another person on turns out to be in their mind "my thing". I just want to crawl into a hole and pull the opening in after me. Maybe I can tunnel all the way to a nice tropical beach.

The colder weather has been especially bad for my arthritic hands. I went to several events where I met new people... and people shake hands. I really hate shaking hands now because squeezing my knuckles hurts. And yet I can't bring myself to be one of those women with "dead fish" hands where you just rest it limply on the proffered hand. None of my palliatives are helping my knuckles this week though and I keep expecting my hands to get all gnarly looking but they look fine. Yet another "hidden disability". How crazy would it be to greet people by pressing my hands together as if in prayer as I do when greeting the buddhist monks (who aren't allowed to touch women)? We do that often in interfaith circles in place of shaking hands. I need it to spread to the wider culture.

And, yesterday, my stupid insurance company denied me a replacement wheelchair. Excuse me? I got the current one in 1985, do you really think I shouldn't have a bloody replacement? So I need to gird myself and appeal that. Their letter was dated 12/18 with a "respond within 10 days" clause but they didn't mail it until 12/22 and it arrived on 12/29. I left a voicemail on my claim adjuster's phone and that had better stop the clock. I may have to look into getting an attorney. Just what an unemployed person wants to contemplate.

So yeah, kinda filled with rage and despair and not exactly the holiday cheer one wants. I'm dreading New Year's Eve rather than anticipating it. *sigh* A few days ago I was really excited though and maybe I can recapture that. I'm baking moussaka to share. At least the house will smell of lamb and cinnamon and such yummy goodness. Thought experiment: *throws things* *pounds pillows* *screams really loudly* Nope, none of those things would likely help. (I have never thrown a thing in anger/angst in my life, but I am told it is therapeutic.) I think I will fire up WoW and go kill orcs.

Date: 2014-12-31 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I hope your week improves soon!

How about getting a button like this?

Date: 2014-12-31 01:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wow, I had no idea that "I don't shake hands" is a thing! I may indeed need a button of some sort. :)

Date: 2014-12-31 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Seems like Dear Abby has addressed the issue, both for arthritic hands and for people worried about spreading or getting germs, but I hadn't seen a button until I went looking for one just now. I think buttons are becoming increasingly popular to communicate things in basic social interactions, though -- I saw recently that some people (introverts, people with autism, people with limited spoons, etc.), are using buttons when they go to cons or other events to indicate how open they are to chatting with strangers.

Date: 2014-12-31 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I hadn't heard about the thing at Cons either. I'll have to think about what buttons I need for PantheaCon besides hands. Though Pagans aren't big handshakers really.

Date: 2014-12-31 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
OMG, I thought, "Oh here is a holiday gift that has been kicking around in the back of my car for a week, I'll open it and feel better." It was a box of Christmas cards for me to "use next year". Yeah, they have an owl on them. But what part of "I'm not a Christian" is unclear? I am never going to send out cards saying I wish you "Christmas Cheer". Honestly. I feel even more friendless.

Date: 2014-12-31 09:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
When I started to spend time with pro jazz musicians (they work the crowd on breaks and shake hands and thank folks for coming out), I got used to the super soft handshake and now I never think twice about it.

If someone extended a hand with a beige arthritis support glove on it, I would treat it like they'd just trusted me with a 6 week old kitten.

Meanwhile, insurance rage.

Date: 2014-12-31 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I use the when driving and wear neoprene ones to bed every night. I guess it hadn't occurred to me to wear them in social situations. Hmm. Thanks for that notion. I do wish people made cool looking compression gloves in something other than beige/grey.

Date: 2014-12-31 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

My sympathies for the cold-exacerbated arthritis: such misery. Also with the wheelchair woes. I hope things turn out better in the new year.

Date: 2014-12-31 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks, me too. May the next year bring good things to everyone.

Date: 2014-12-31 12:09 pm (UTC)
tagryn: (Tomananaapur_WDW)
From: [personal profile] tagryn
I'm always glad to hear from you again, Rowan.

I know I feel a certain amount of pressure in what I share online to only put the good stuff out there, but I think this creates a distorted reflection of our lives which is actually counterproductive for others who read it in the long run, in that it can become easy to slide into "gosh, everyone else seems to be getting along just dandy, what am I doing wrong?" So, yeah, I appreciate this and its honesty, moreso than the folks who make their lives sound like eternal-wonderful land.

Having said that, hope things turn around for you soonish.

Date: 2014-12-31 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks Tagryn. That is a good point about being honest about the curve balls life throws us. I don't think I've ever met anyone living in eternal wonderful land either. I'm feeling better this morning (I finished several achievements in Warcraft, artificial as the feeling of doing things in a game may be, they do help.)

I guess my resolution is to start the new year dealing with all the things. Starting with idiot insurance companies. *sigh*

Date: 2014-12-31 09:05 pm (UTC)
firecat: red panda looking happy (Default)
From: [personal profile] firecat
I don't particularly mind shaking hands, but I tend to do the palms-together greeting instead unless someone shoves their hand in my face or goes in for a hug. No one seems to think it's particularly strange, or at least once they've gotten past how strange I am in general they don't think it's any MORE strange. ;)

May 2015


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